You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
