respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
