So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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