we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
