One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize