is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
