David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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