everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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