That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
