did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
