Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
