3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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