Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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