remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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