I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's shark week go big or go home
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
