If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he just fucked me for my cheese..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
