girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
