Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
