my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
