Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
