apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
