Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
