i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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