my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
