she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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