They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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