i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
