he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Its about making memories worth repressing
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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