i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
