I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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