You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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