it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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