Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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