3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
