Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
