I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
