Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
