Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
