the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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