As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize