I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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