also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
