U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
that's an acceptable place to lick
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
