remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
