You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
