yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize