Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
