omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
