that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
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