gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize