I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
