He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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