When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
