I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Let's get the cat blown out
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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