Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
