The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
