do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
