Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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