i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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