i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
