Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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