physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
