Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
