there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
